The Superpower of Myth or, If There Were No Jerry Siegel

EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

The parking lot of the bar overlooks a beautiful city skyline, with a billboard near by that could easily double as a bench. CALVIN and JAMES, both in their early to mid 30s, are near the billboard, passing a marijuana pipe. Calvin is a hulking, masculine man, the epitome of alpha male, but still remarkably approachable. He gives off an almost superhumanly enviable aura, and not coincidentally, he is dressed in a full spandex Superman costume. James is bald and wears a long black trench coat. He takes a big puff and holds it in for a moment before he exhales and passes the pipe to Calvin.

JAMES
So yeah, I don’t know. Sometimes I think like, we’re meant for more. You know? Like, we’re all meant to be something greater. Something...something better, something more than. But then we don’t, for whatever reason, and then we’re just like, there. We’re just here, you know, and that’s it.

CALVIN
Why is it that people get all analyl-lit...analytical when they’re smoking weed? It just makes me relaxed, man. I don’t want to think about anything, I just want to sit back. Take it in. No offense, I just hate it when people have these existential crisii* when they’re st--

*Note: Pronounced “crise-eye”

JAMES
Fuck! Fuck man, I hate when people do that!

CALVIN
When they-when they take it in? What are you-

JAMES
Ugh! Look, Calvin, I’m sorry but it just gets me, you know? Every writer’s got his own little writing issues, little grammatical pet peeves. And that, man, that is fucking mine.

CALVIN
Existentialism?

JAMES
No, man! Fucking “crisii” and shit!

CALVIN
So you hate crisiis?

JAMES
See! There it is! I just-I don’t get why people do that. Some asshole on the internet probably started it for whatever reason, and now everybody does it.

CALVIN
Relax, hey. You want, I can pack another...

JAMES
Crises! It’s “crises,” or God forbid, “crisises,” but not fucking “crisii.” Ugh.

CALVIN
Crisises? You sure that’s right?

JAMES
Yes, I’m sure.

CALVIN
What if there are infinite crisises though? Infinite crisii...crises...

JAMES
Crises. It’d be infinite crises. It’s the same with octopus.

CALVIN
That’s octopii.

JAMES
No, it’s octopuses.

CALVIN
Or octopussees. No...octo...poos? pees? Octopees?

JAMES
Okay. Bad example. How about...penis, how about penis. It’s not “penii.” It’s penises. Or, penes.

CALVIN
Penes?

JAMES
Penes, yeah.

CALVIN
Really?

JAMES
Yes!

CALVIN
Huh. Not sure when you’d find occasion to refer to more than one penis anyway.

JAMES
Says the man who wears tights and a cape.

Calvin shrugs and looks out at the view.

JAMES
Where’d you get that thing, anyway?

CALVIN
I can’t even remember. I feel like I’ve always had it, since I was born. Flew out of the womb, just like that.
(pause)
It’s sad, really. A lot of people take these things for granted.

JAMES
Billboards?

CALVIN
No man. Capes. Criminally underrated fashion accessory.

JAMES
Right.

CALVIN
You know, there is nothing like a city skyline to put things into perspective. I travel a lot for my job, right, and let me tell you Jerry, you can go anywhere in the whole wide world--hell, the whole universe--and there’s nothing quite as beautiful as that.

JAMES
I’m James.

CALVIN
Really?

JAMES
Yeah.

CALVIN
Weird.

JAMES
But no, I got you. ‘Cause it’s like everything’s so much smaller there, from here, that it’s like not a big deal. It makes everything seem like your toy or something, like it’s yours and you just, you get it, because you’re just, you’re bigger than that now.

Calvin looks at James; a moment of silence passes, as Calvin actually considers what James has said.

CALVIN
So what you’re saying is, all those people down below, each going about his or her own business, that just because they don’t get to appreciate the same view as we do right now, you’re saying we should look down on them. That they’re somehow smaller, or less than us.

JAMES
Yeah, yeah.

CALVIN
Huh.

JAMES
What?

CALVIN
See, I couldn't disagree with you more.

JAMES
Oh.

CALVIN
Look at those moving lights down there. Imagine that there’s one person in each car, or window, or whatever. How many people is that?
(James starts to count out loud)
A lot, right? And all those people down there are part of a community. The same community, and they don’t even realize it. Even if they’ve never seen each other, they’re a part of something, something greater than the sum of its parts. And we’re up here. Alone. Well, together, but still separate.

JAMES
Huh. I thought you said you hated all this drugged up philosophy crap?

CALVIN
Well I do. It’s ingenuine. Is that the right word?

JAMES
It's ingenuous actually, but yeah.

CALVIN
Ingenuous, right. It’s what people think they’re supposed to be or feel, when they want to blend in. It’s like a pair of glasses you put on that don’t really help you see.

JAMES
It’s ‘Doesn’t.’ You’re referring to a singular pair, not the plural glasses, so you’d use ‘doesn’t,’ not ‘don’t.’

CALVIN
Are you sure that about that one?

JAMES
Absolutely. So how is what you’re saying any different than that?

CALVIN
Because what I’m saying is the truth, not same forced philosophy. For me it’s like I took the glasses off, and now I can see more clearly. Now I can focus. You see that veritable metropolis down below? That is what restores my faith in the world. Every person becomes their own little shining light from up here, and that glow is what makes each person special. Everyone is doing something, or going somewhere or whatever, giving life to this great social organism, an amoeba with moving parts. It’s like an ant farm, but we’re the ants. And there’s no Queen. Or maybe God is the Queen. Do you ever wish you could hear them?

JAMES
Queen? I’ve got the live album.

CALVIN
People.

JAMES
People?

CALVIN
That’s right.

JAMES
All of them?

CALVIN
All of them. Each and every conversation. Every whisper, every breathe. Every laugh...every tear! Everything. You can tune in or tune out when you want but you can still scan their voices. Like radio stations, like XM satellite radio, every time you need to remind yourself that everything’s alive. That every life is unique. Precious, like a, like a song.

JAMES
Wow. That was beautiful, man. You should be a writer or something. Hell, I should have you ghostwrite for me. It’d make my life easier, anyway.

CALVIN
Well what are you working on?

JAMES
I’m doing this screenplay for Warner Brothers. And like, I want to make it good, you know? Really unique and profound. But I know they’re just going doctor it to shit no matter what I write. I mean, what kind of doctor makes things worse?

CALVIN
Dr. Kevorkian, for one.

JAMES
Oh yeah. Who else?

CALVIN
Well there’s a bunch. Hugo Strange. Doctor Sivana. Rotwang. Doctor Jekyll!

JAMES
Lex Luthor.

CALVIN
Luthor, yeah. Definitely. Who else?

Beat. James and Calvin try to think of more bad doctors.

JAMES
That’s all I got.

CALVIN
Yeah, me too. Ah well.

WALTER enters. He is tall and lanky with curly hair and a beard.

WALTER
There you are! Shit, kid, I’ve been looking all over for you. The girls said they were taking off so I thought I’d come find you. Have you just sitting out here the whole time? What gives?

JAMES
We were-I came out here and we started talking and we just, you know.

WALTER
No, kid, I really don’t know, so why don’t you tell me?
(beat)
Are you high right now?

JAMES
Um. Maybe?

CALVIN
This a friend of yours?

WALTER
(to James)
Is that guy wearing a Superman costume?
(to Calvin)
Are you wearing a Superman costume?

CALVIN
Looks like.

JAMES
This is Cal, um, El-

CALVIN
(extending his hand to Walter)
Elder. Calvin Elder.

JAMES
And uh, this is my buddy Walter. He works for the studio I’m writing for.

CALVIN
Nice to meet you, sir.

JAMES
And also, I think it’s technically a uniform. Not a costume.

WALTER
Did I really just shake hands with fucking Superman, stoned off his ass, outside some shitty LA dive bar?

CALVIN
Really? You’d call this place a dive? Sure, it’s not the best looking joint but-

WALTER
Am I high now? See, this is why I hate West Hollywood. Because a moment ago, I was in that bar with four very attractive women, each with cute little accents and I was actually kind of concerned for your well being and now I’m out here and you’re smoking up with a fucking cartoon character-

JAMES
Comic. Superman’s a comic book.

WALTER
...fucking cartoon character and I strongly suggest that you leave this part out of your story treatment or perhaps you’d forgotten that it’s due next week. I mean, shit, kid, do you have any idea how much we make off merchandise? The picture’s nothin’. With a gig like this, it’s all about the brand, and a marijuana Superman would just obliterate the under-12 demographic. And that’s our bread and fucking butter! We’d have to go from lunchboxes to Superman water bongs just to break even. You really think that’s a good idea? I mean, what, is this your idea of some kind of surrealist character research? This is how you get into the character’s head for your “genre-smashing epic” Hey, “Calvin Elder,” is he giving you a cut of this, or what? I hope it was up front cash, man, ‘cause ten percent of zero is zilch. Nada.

CALVIN
Of course not. It was a gift. My treat. I offered it to him, it looked like we could both use some companionship, and really, that’s payment enough.

WALTER
Is this guy just fucked up, or does he really not have a clue?

CALVIN
Jimmy? What’s this fellow on about?

WALTER
Where the fuck did you find this guy? He’s hilarious.

JAMES
Remember that script I mentioned earlier? It’s actually for uh, for a new Superman movie.

CALVIN
Wasn’t there a just new one not too long ago?

JAMES
Yeah, well, we’re trying to kind of reboot the franchise with this one. Kind of like Batman, I guess.

WALTER
Jimmy here’s got it in his head that he’s going to pen this brilliant tragedy, a Modern Myth for the ages, I think he said. Is that what you said? Thinks he’s writing Shakespeare with tights and a cape. He’s still young. Thinks that people actually care about a fucking cartoon. No offense, of course.

CALVIN
None taken.

JAMES
There’s just a lot more to Superman than I think people realize. He’s not just a marketing scheme or a brand, you know? He’s like the perfect archetype for modern man. He’s relevant. The whole story, the whole mythos, it’s like it resonates with our collective cultural subconscious.

CALVIN
Wow. Are you sure you still want me to ghostwrite? Because this sounds like it could be a lot of work and I don’t want to ruin this for you.

WALTER
He’s your ghostwriter now?

CALVIN
Ghost Rider’s Marvel, not DC.

JAMES
Okay. Think of it this way: do you think Superman is a product of desire, or necessity?

WALTER
What the hell does that even mean?

JAMES
The guys who created Superman, did they do so because they were bored or whatever, or do you think they were fulfilling some kind of evolutionary imperative? Does our society, or any society for that matter, by its nature necessitate the creation of this ideal being, this--literally, this super man--in order to function? To survive? This enviable alpha male that we all long to be.

WALTER
That is exactly the kind of dumb fucking question you ask when you’re high. That’s the only time people think of that shit, when they’re having one of those drug induced existential crises.

CALVIN
Or crisises.

WALTER
(to Calvin)
Don’t correct my grammar. You’re wearing fucking tights.
(to James)
Alright, listen kid, I came to tell you I’m heading out. With the girls. And since you’re in whatever state you’re in, I assume that’s alright with you.

JAMES
All of ‘em? There were like four girls back there, Walt.

WALTER
Well. Guess it’s my lucky night then.
(he looks at Calvin)
Who the fuck just walks around in a Superman costume anyway? Fucking Los Angeles, I swear to God.

Walter exits. James and Calvin sit in silence for a moment.

JAMES
Why are you wearing a Superman costume?

CALVIN
Would you rather I was naked?

JAMES
What? No! I-

CALVIN
Hey, it’s cool. I get it. This is one of those West Hollywood things. I always forget that around this part of town. I mean, I’m flattered, really, but I don’t fly that way.

JAMES
You fly?

CALVIN
Ha. Actually, I was on my way to a costume party at my--well, I guess it’s my ex-girlfriend’s place now, and I don’t know. I just got nervous. So I came up here to clear my head a bit. We’re still talking and all, her and I, but we’re not together. ‘Open lines of communication,’ she calls it. It was all her idea.

JAMES
Why?

CALVIN
Well, we work together for one thing, which is already mess. I don’t know. I guess she thinks it’s healthy--emotionally--for us to still keep in contact so-

JAMES
No, I mean. Why is she-what-why’d you break up?

CALVIN
Oh. Well. It’s complicated, you know. The long and short of it is, she doesn’t think I’m not being honest with her. Honest with myself. She thinks I’m always trying to be someone I’m not, and the real me isn’t there when she needs me to be, and that she loves the man that she thinks I am, but she isn’t sure if I’m that person, and...yeah.

JAMES
Wow. That does sound complicated.

CALVIN
Yep.
(beat)
Listen. How are you feeling right now?

JAMES
Well, Walter’s kind of a buzz kill, but...I think I’m doing alright. Why?

Pause. Calvin contemplates.

CALVIN
Walk with me. Come on.

Calvin leaps to his feet, but he is no longer Calvin-he is the genuine Superman, void of all false bravado and pretention. He walks and stands and presents with confidence and comfort, but never with contrived cartoon poses, as he helps James to his feet.

JAMES
Where are we going?

CALVIN
For a walk. I think we could both use a new perspective. Clear our heads a bit. It's one thing to be all the way up here above the city, looking down at the people below, but you're never going to truly understand them, understand this whole little world, unless you walk among them. You need to appreciate it, sure, but you also need to assimilate it.

JAMES
Assimilate what?

CALVIN
Everything, Jimmy. The good and the bad. All their shortcomings. Their pettiness, their jealousy. Hell, even their hope. Especially their hope.

JAMES
Hope is a shortcoming?

CALVIN
Well that's the grand irony of it. A super paradox. But the most beautiful things in life always are. You see, Jimmy, those shortcomings are precisely what makes people so great, makes them all worthwhile, because that's the thing that makes them all so undeniably human. And that's something worth fighting for.

FADE TO BLACK.
END

Starboard Port

EXT. GRASSY FIELD - AFTERNOON
A cool autumn day in an open field, the grass blowing slightly in the wind. The soft babble of a distant creek might be heard. In the middle of the field towards upstage right sits a small Arc, with the loading ramp opened down to the ground. The boat is lavish in its design and decor, but still traditional-almost archaic or biblical-in appearance. Excess wood parts and scraps, along with various tools and a small stool, and strewn about-it is a workshop frozen in the middle of a project.

KATIE and JOSH are both in their mid-20s. Katie’s quirkiness and spunk is immediately apparent in her appearance--somewhat hippy, somewhat hip, somewhat punk, her hair is short, and she wears wild colors and designs and though she is dressed more for spring than the fall, it doesn’t seem to bother her. Josh is much more conservative by comparison--he is attractive, though somewhat generic, and dressed casually, with a hoodie or light jacket.
Katie and Josh enter from the right.

KATIE
(motioning towards the boat)
Well. Here it is. What do you think?

JOSH
It’s very...flamboyant.

Katie gives Josh an incredulous look.

KATIE
...flamboyant?

JOSH
Well, no, I mean, like-

KATIE
What, you think my boat is gay? You think it’s gonna flick its fucking wrist in your direction, what the fuck does that even mean, flamboyant? It’s a fucking boat!
(beat)
God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t-that was out of line, I’m sorry.

JOSH
No, it’s okay, really-

KATIE
No, I-I really need to work on-that, you know-

JOSH
Seriously, it’s okay. Maybe you’re right, maybe flamboyant’s not the right word. It’s more...I don’t know...eccentric?
(Katie gives him a look again)
Cute?
(Katie continues to stare silently)
Idiosyncratic? Non-sequitur even! It’s just very...you.

KATIE
So you’re saying I look like a fucking boat.
(Josh has no response to this)
I’m kidding. This time. Mostly.

JOSH
Oh...
(beat)
Well, either way, very Noah-an.

KATIE
See, now you’re just making shit up.

JOSH
No! It’s-I guess-Noah-esque would be the appropriate-

KATIE
Josh, just say whatever it is that you’re trying to say.

JOSH
It’s very...Noah, like the arc guy. You know, two-by-two, animals and all that. I don’t know how to quantify the cultural whatever academia crap name of the appropriate art historical period relevance whatever.

KATIE
I think it’s just called “BCE.” Like, “Before Common Era”?

JOSH
Oh. Really?

KATIE
Really.

JOSH
I thought that was “Before Christ”?

KATIE
No. You left out the “E.”

JOSH
Huhn.
(beat)
“Before Christ Everything?” You know, like everything that happened before-

KATIE
Uh-uh.

JOSH
“Before Christ’s Era,” there we go!

KATIE
Nope. Although, “Biblical” would suffice. Are you saying it looks like a zoo?

Katie and Josh both turn to look at the boat in this new light.

JOSH
Yeah.

KATIE
Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re kinda right.
(she sits down on the ramp or the stool, leaving Josh standing alone)
Not really big enough for that many animals though. I could get a puppy though. Ooh, or a snake! Or maybe-

JOSH
A parrot?

KATIE
Yeah, a parrot! That’d be cool. Keep me company. Though I guess that in the end it’s just like talking to yourself.

JOSH
Or you could bring another person along. That’d be nice.

KATIE
Yeah maybe. But what if you get sick of each other? Sure, there’s physically room enough, but once you’re out there on the water, man. You’re stuck with each other for the long haul. Keel haul, man.

JOSH
What does that-?
(Katie shrugs and diverts her attention the boat)
Yeah...
(beat)
Um, Katie? If you don’t mind my asking-what do you plan on doing with this thing, with this arc?

KATIE
What do you mean? I’m gonna ride it. Or drive it. Or whatever verb you do with a boat.

JOSH
Yeah, but...how?

KATIE
How? I don’t know, how do you drive a boat? I’ll be the captain, or the navigator, or...or fucking first mate or whatever.

JOSH
Well normally, I think you’d steer it, or I guess drive, but you can’t-

KATIE
Hey-Chicks can be mates, mate!

JOSH
I’m not saying you can’t be a mate! Let me finish a sentence for once! God! I’m saying...you built a boat in the middle of a field without any way to get it to the water.
(beat)

KATIE
Dude, there’s a creek right over there-

JOSH
But you can’t take a boat this size on a-on a little creek!

KATIE
Okay, so I won’t take it on the creek. I didn’t realize you were so sensitive about water preservation.

JOSH
Katie, listen.
(staccato, punctuated)
You can’t use a boat without water. That’s the whole point of a boat. You do realize this, yes?

KATIE
Man, whatever. I don’t even know why I brought you here in the first place. I’ve spent like six fucking months working on this thing and I thought it’d be cool to share, you know? I thought you’d appreciate it or something. I didn’t think you’d be popping my balloons all over the place.

JOSH
Popping your whatnow?

KATIE
My balloons, you know. Like, little thought balloons, like in cartoons when somebody’s thinking, or daydreaming, they got the detached little dots and they’re all poofy around the edges and then someone else-someone like you-comes along with a little needle a little something and then, bam! Popped. You popped the balloon.

JOSH
I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Katie turns away angrily. Josh quickly realizes that his response was not the correct one

JOSH
Look, I’m sorry if that’s what it seems like, but that’s not what I’m trying to do. Honest. I just wanted to know how you were going to take the boat out on the water-I don’t care if it’s with a dog or a cat or person or a-or a unicorn-take the boat out on the water and do whatever it is you want to do out there, if you’re currently landlocked without any major body of water for hundreds of miles.
(Katie starts to respond but he cuts her off)
And creeks don’t count.
(She starts again)
And neither do bathtubs. Or kitchen sinks, or any other witty little retort I’m sure that you’ll come up with.

KATIE
There’s water all around us.

JOSH
Forget it!

KATIE
No, think about it. Human beings are made up of like two-thirds water. The Earth is seventy percent water. Or maybe those facts are switched, I don’t know. But either way, that’s a lot of fucking water.

JOSH
So you’re going to ride people, is that what you’re going to do?

KATIE
Man, why do you gotta do that? That’s the kind of attitude that keeps these kind of things from ever being truly fucking realized. Who’s to say that I can’t take this boat through a meadow, or through a pasture, dirt, and find my way to the sea? Huh?

JOSH
Well, physicists, ecologists, rational human-

KATIE
Most of this shit is made up of water. Boats travel in water. Okay, sure, it’ll be a little slow for the first leg of the journey-I get that. Earth’s not as fluid as water. But it’s more than halfway there, don’t you get it?

JOSH
Okay, Katie. Fine. Whatever.

KATIE
Listen, I appreciate the bravado sentiment, but I’m not gonna need someone to save my life this time. It’s totally sweet and all, but man, you gotta get over that.

JOSH
Get over it?

KATIE
It was one fucking time! Obviously, you know, I’m glad you were there to pull me out, but Jesus Christ, that was like three years ago, man. I’m pretty sure I’ve learned how to swim since then

JOSH
Yeah but Katie, I just think-

KATIE
Think what, that I’m a lousy swimmer? Hello! That’s what the boat’s for! Don’t chastise me because I almost drowned in that shit-infested eye-burning chlorinated cess of a pool you call a...pool. It was one time, you know? Whatever. I don’t need you there to-

JOSH
Look, for the last time, I’m sorry I kissed you, alright?
(beat)
There. I said it. Sorry. We’ve been through this already. I probably shouldn’t have done it, you’re right, okay, but at the time it seemed...heroic. Romantic. Chivalrous, I don’t now. But it’s happened. It’s done. Whatever. I thought we’d moved on. This has nothing to do with us or with the flood you’re apparently waiting for.

Silence. Katie refuses to look at him.

JOSH
Or the flood that’s apparently arrived.

He finally tries to leave when:

KATIE
You know, there was a time I thought you’d make a great first mate.
(beat)
Thought you’d look cute with a little bandana tied around your head-goofy cute, you know, like you do-and you’d always be scrambling around to tie some knots or tighten ropes and shout out crazy words like “bow” and “aft,” and maybe-just maybe-every now and then a little “starboard port.”

JOSH
But then?

KATIE
I don’t know. You went all “Old-Man-And-The-Sea” on me. Jumped ship.

JOSH
I think you’re uh, you’re mixing your metaphors there. Again.

Katie goes back to the boat and touches it, examining her handiwork with nostalgia and morose self-importance. Josh watches her for a moment, but ultimately shakes his head and walks away. Katie does not pay any attention to his departure and continues to check the boat for leaks and holes.

KATIE
She doesn’t look like much. Got a little wear and tear about her. But she’ll fly true. Nothing a little love can’t keep afloat.

Katie walks up the ramp into the boat as the lights fade.

END

ABsolution

INT. CHURCH CONFESSIONAL - DAY
DONNELLY, a Catholic priest in his 50s, makes the sign of a cross as he blesses a WOMAN who can only be seen through the screen on the priest’s side.

The Woman stands up and leaves as Donnelly sits back in his seat.

EXT. SHOPPING PLAZA - DAY
SIMON, a lanky male in his early 20s, exits from a store wearing an employee polo shirt with a name tag. The store is a video or electronics store, possibly a Best Buy. Simon wears glasses and his hair is unkempt; his fashion sense is ambiguous as to whether it is hipster or simply out-of-touch.

Simon walks over to a bicycle locked to a pole or a fence. It is a vintage road bike, with a milk crate affixed to the back.

INT. CHURCH - DAY
Woman kneels at the altar in prayer, and begins reciting the “Hail Mary.”

EXT. SHOPPING PLAZA PARKING LOT - DAY
Simon mounts his bicycle and tightens his helmet. He prepares himself to ride, but pauses to remove his name tag. He turns around and puts it in his back pack, which rests amongst a pile of other miscellaneous articles in the milk crate. Simon begins to pedal away.

The “Hail Mary” can still be heard quietly in voice over.

INT. CHURCH CONFESSIONAL - DAY
Father Donnelly sits back in the booth, somber, resting his eyes, as he listens to the woman recite her prayer.

EXT. STREET - DAY
Simon rides his bicycle through traffic.

INT. CHURCH - DAY
Having completed her prayers of penance, the Woman stands up at the altar, crosses herself, and leaves.

EXT. CHURCH - DAY
Simon dismounts from his bicycle and leans it against the church; he does not lock it up. He begins to remove his helmet as he walks into the church.

INT. CHURCH CONFESSIONAL - DAY
Donnelly waits patiently in the Confessional booth, head bowed and eyes closed, deep in thought.

Simon darts into the Confessional Booth, first opening the door on Donnelly’s side.

SIMON
Oh! Sorry! Wrong door! So much for anonymity, huh? Let’s see what’s behind door number two, yeah? One minute.

Simon slams the door and runs around to enter through the other door, into the confessor’s half of the confessional booth.
Simon takes a seat in the chair and leans back, legs outstretched. Beat. He adjusts his position, and attempts to sit upright, but he is still not comfortable. After a few more adjustments, Simon chooses to sit with one leg crossed. When that proves to be uncomfortable as well, he tries the other leg, and finally leans back in his seat. Beat. Simon sits up again.

SIMON (CONT’D)
No, this won’t do. Hold on.

Simon picks up the seat without ever fully getting out of it, and
repositions it, facing directly into the screen that divides the two halves of the booth and obscures his face from the priest, rather than sitting profile.

SIMON (CONT’D)
I mean, not like this screen’s gonna do much help in keeping my identity secret, huh? I’d be a pretty shitty super hero, huh, Doc?

Donnelly clears his throat.

SIMON (CONT’D)
Bless you! Notice how I didn’t say ‘God bless you.’ I figured it was, ya know, kinda redundant, ya know, ‘cause you’re-

DONNELLY
How long has it been since your last Confession?

SIMON
Oh. Right. Hold on one more second.

Simon moves the kneeling pad into position as a foot rest.

SIMON (CONT’D)
Okay, that’s good. I’m good now. What’s up?

DONNELLY
How long has it been since your last Confession?

SIMON
Oh, shit. I don’t know. When’s-was it third grade when I had the whole ‘First Communion-First Confession’ thing, or was that something else? I mean, you’d know better than I would.

DONNELLY
So you would say it’s been ten, twelve years? That’s a long time to go without repentance.

SIMON
What are you, my landlord? She’s on my ass about that, too, and I told her I-

DONNELLY
Simon, could you-please-refrain from cursing in the Lord’s House?

SIMON
Shit, sorry-fuck, I didn’t-sorry, sorry. I mean, well there’s-there’s confessing some sins right there, see? So far, off to a good start.

DONNELLY
Just tell me what brings you here today.

SIMON
Well, not really a confession so much as-hey, wait. You called me Simon. This whole thing is supposed to be anonymous, isn’t it? You can’t just going around saying my name like that. What if God hears, or someone else hears it? This is supposed to be between you and me, man. You and me.

DONNELLY
My apologies. Please-tell me you’ve come seeking forgiveness.

SIMON
Would you say that you’re confessing to me? ‘Cause really, that just changes everything. Sorry, bad joke. How to start, how to start. Let’s see...okay, I know. Can I ask you a question first?

Simon sits on the edge of his seat and crosses his legs. He takes a pen and a small notebook out of his pocket, mimicking a shrink, and begins to doodle in the notebook during the conversation.

DONNELLY
Certainly.

SIMON
How long you been a priest?

DONNELLY
Well, I’ve been a member of the Clergy for fifteen years now.

SIMON
Fifteen years? That’s it? What were you doing the rest of the time?

DONNELLY
I worked as a book publisher. I chose to pursue the priesthood after-after my wife passed.

SIMON
Oh. I’m sorry.

DONNELLY
Please, don’t be. I was very happy with the time we had, and afterwards, it led me here, which is exactly where I want to be. Need to be, really.

SIMON
I see. You ever wonder why tragedy always begets philosophical re-analysis?

Simon uncrosses his legs and leans forward in the chair, elbows on his knees.

DONNELLY
I beg your pardon?

SIMON
People only all deep thinking about bad things happen to them. How come no one ever wakes up on any beautiful morning in May and cracks open the blinds and says, “What is the meaning of life? What am I doing with myself?” I mean, besides poets. But I hear they’re all gay anyway.

DONNELLY
Human beings need faith. Something to believe in. Something to help us get by. Unfortunately, sometimes we don’t realize that we’re missing that something, and it often takes a tragedy to make us open our eyes and make us realize what’s missing. There’s no grounding for the big questions, though. No hard scientific fact. No way to wrap our heads around the even bigger answers that we want. So we place our hope in the abstract, or seemingly abstract, and have faith that it’s a worthy investment. It gives us something to look forward to. Like an eternal weekend.
(beat)

SIMON
Do you ever just get wasted off Communion wine? Like, on the weekends, you and the nuns just crack open a jug and go nuts?

DONNELLY
What?

Simon leans back in his chair.

SIMON
That’s right, you guys always have to wake up early. I mean, listening to sermons with a hangover is painful enough. I couldn’t imagine giving them three times with cotton mouth and a headache kickin’ at me. Have you ever tried Communion bread with cheese? Maybe hummus? Or toasted, even? Mm, toasted Communion bread. I bet that’d be awesome. I love toast. I’ll tell ya, if Christ’s body was toasted, and maybe-just maybe-buttered with a little bit of cinnamon, I would totally come to church more often. Ooh! Or what if-

DONNELLY
Please. Stop. Just-

(Donnelly takes a breath to calm himself. Beat)

How long has it been since your last Confession?

SIMON
Didn’t we already do this?

DONNELLY
I’m just trying to bring it all in. Focus the conversation, get to the heart of it. I would like to know why you come here today, and what it is that you seek forgiveness for.

SIMON
That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I bet Jesus had hummus during the Last Supper when he transmogrified the bread-

DONNELLY
Transubstantiated.

SIMON
Whatever. Point is, the guy was Middle Eastern. They love hummus over there.

DONNELLY
Simon...

SIMON
Look, just bear with me, okay? This whole thing goes back to the Last Supper so just-just go with me, cool? Cool?

DONNELLY
Alright.

SIMON
Say ‘cool.’

DONNELLY
‘Cool.’

SIMON
Alright.

DONNELLY
As you were saying?

SIMON
Right. So the Last Supper. Jesus and bro’s go out, have a big dinner. JC’s Last Night In Town, that kind of thing. All the boys together. Jesus gets wasted, maybe his blood alcohol level reaches 13%, but because he’s Jesus, it doesn’t kill him. But he accidentally cuts his finger when he’s slicing bread, and he’s like ‘Oh, whoa, this bread’s my body,’ ya know, ‘cause his finger’s on it now. So then they use a wine glass to catch the blood that’s pouring out, and he’s like wasted, right, and he goes ‘And this wine’s like my blood,’ and then-

DONNELLY
That’s not quite how the story goes. Believe it or not, I’m actually rather familiar with the details.

SIMON
Chill out, man. Haven’t you ever heard of ‘poetic license?’ ‘Creative liberties?’

DONNELLY
Yes, my apologies. I didn’t mean to insult you, Simon.

SIMON
Don’t worry about. It’s no big thing. Just one more to confess, eh? And aren’t we encouraged to collect things to confess after all?

DONNELLY
In a perfect world, none of us would be tempted by sin, and therefore we’d have nothing to confess.

SIMON
I see.

Simon leans back, legs outstretched, lying as prostrate as possible in the booth, like a patient in a therapy session.

SIMON (CONT’D)
Doc, I’m a vegetarian.

DONNELLY
(beat)
Pardon?

SIMON
I’m a vegetarian. That’s my confession.

DONNELLY
That’s good for you. It’s a noble thing to do. You’re a good man for it.

SIMON
Thanks. I mean, it’s not that big of a deal. Bacon was tough, but that’s not the point.

DONNELLY
What is your point, then, Simon? I don’t quite follow how all of this connects-

Simon gets out and his chair and stands up, furious.

SIMON
You don’t get it, doc? You don’t see how it connects? I’m a vegetarian. I can’t take Communion! ‘This bread is my body, this wine is my blood.’ I won’t eat steak, and I’m moving more towards soy milk, and, in the mean time, you expect me to eat my savior? That’s cannibalism. It’s a cult, Father Donnelly, not a religion.

DONNELLY
Monsignor.

SIMON
What does that mean?

DONNELLY
I’m not a Father, I-

SIMON
What, you mean to tell me that while you were married before you became a priest, you and the Misses never once knocked boots?

DONNELLY
Actually, I have two children. One was married last month, the other is finishing his Masters.

SIMON
But you just said-

DONNELLY
What I meant was that Father’s not my title. I’m a Monsignor. Monsignor Donnelly.

SIMON
I don’t get it.

DONNELLY
It’s a rank. Like the President and the Vice-President. They’re different ranks of authority within the clergy.

SIMON
So you’re like, the President of Priests?

DONNELLY
No, that would be the Pope.

SIMON
Which would make you, what, the equivalent of the Secretary of Agriculture?

DONNELLY
Forget it, Simon. I’m sorry I brought it up. Let’s get back to the issue at hand. You-

SIMON
Don’t understand how my moral and religious beliefs can somehow conflict, if my religious beliefs are supposed to be the foundation of my concept of my morality? Yeah, that about covers it.

DONNELLY
I think you’re taking a much too simplistic approach to the situation. It’s more...complex than you realize, it’s...
(Donnelly searches for the right words to say, to no avail)

SIMON
I don’t think it’s that complicated at all. It’s a paradox, Doc. Kind of like ‘Back to the Future,’ but less incestuous. You’ve seen it, right?

DONNELLY
No, I-

SIMON
Oh, too bad. Great movie. Have you ever thought about trying tofu wafers, or maybe rice wine? What do you think?

DONNELLY
I think you’re missing the point.

SIMON
You would think that.

Simon sits again, grumpily.

DONNELLY
Simon, do you know about substance?

SIMON
What the hell kind of question is that? That’s like asking me if I know what “things” are.

DONNELLY
It’s actually a bit more complicated than that. You’re being too simplistic-too black and white.

SIMON
So enlighten me.

DONNELLY
Consider the Communion wafers, Simon. What do they taste like to you?

SIMON
Kind of like really flour-y Wheat Thins.

DONNELLY
And is that how you imagine God to taste?

SIMON
Not really. I kind of always thought he’d be a little sweeter, like bacon, actually, but-

DONNELLY
So it doesn’t taste like human flesh to you.

SIMON
No.

DONNELLY
But it is.

SIMON
Right. And that’s the problem, Doc. That’s-

DONNELLY
That’s because, for all intents and purposes, you’re still eating bread. It has all the same physical properties of bread. But it’s essence is that of Christ.

SIMON
I don’t get it.

DONNELLY
There are some people, Simon, who believe that there is only one substance, and that is God, but God has many different modes. If you can separate that idea from the bread’s physical qualities, you can believe that Christ is truly and substantially present within it.

SIMON
So you’re saying that it’s symbolic, or representational of Christ? Okay, Martin Luther.

DONNELLY
I’m saying that it takes a little faith, Simon. If you believe that a man can walk on water, that he can be born of a virgin and raised from the dead, it’s not so hard to believe in the substance of a thing.

SIMON
But I don’t have any trouble believing. You just said, its substance is Christ. Therefore, the bread is Jesus Christ, yes? As a vegetarian, I don’t believe in eating meat, so suddenly, my moral and religious beliefs conflict, meaning that my religion is immoral. Which makes me a sinner for being a Catholic.

DONNELLY
Then I might suggest a re-evaluation.

SIMON
Look, I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not giving up my vegetarianism. It was a conscious, moral decision that I made, one that I care a lot about, and it’s a double standard to eat some meat and not others, whether it’s fish or chicken or Jesus Christ. Fuck Pescetarians.

DONNELLY
I meant a re-evaluation of your religion. I’m sure you’re aware that there are countless subdivisions of Christianity, and I’m sure that at least one of them shares and supports your beliefs. Perhaps you would be better served in a congregation like that, than in the Roman Catholic church.

SIMON
Whoa. Whoa. Hold the phone, there, Doc. You want me to become a Protestant? You’re actually suggesting that I turn my back on the Catholic church? I hate to break it to you, but you guys really can’t afford to be turning people away these days. Besides, Father Donnelly-

DONNELLY
Monsignor.

SIMON
Whatever. You know the Irish. What do you think my Mom would do if I came home one day and said, ‘Hi Mom! I’m a Protestant!’ She’d say get the hell out of my country, that’s what she’d say!

DONNELLY
Well, Simon, you’re an adult now, it might be time for you to-

SIMON
I’m not turning Protestant.

DONNELLY
I’m sorry, Simon, but if you don’t agree with the Catholic church, that means you’re not a Catholic. It’s as simple as that.

SIMON
I thought you said that things weren’t that simplistic.

DONNELLY
And they’re not, which is why I-

SIMON
I don’t disagree with the church, Father Donnelly. But the church is hypocritical. It goes against my morals. How does that make sense?

DONNELLY
I don’t know what to tell you, Simon. Do you enjoy the irony of playing Devil’s Advocate with a member of the Clergy? I’m sorry, I don’t have time for this today.

SIMON
What was her name?

DONNELLY
Mary?

SIMON
Your wife. What was your wife’s name?

DONNELLY
Really, Simon, you need to learn to stay on topic-

SIMON
Just tell me what her name is. Was. I swear it’s all connected.

DONNELLY
Judith.

SIMON
Judith like Judith Iscariot Judith?

DONNELLY
It’s Judas Iscariot, though I truly hope that’s not the name you were thinking of.

SIMON
Exactly.

DONNELLY
Again, Simon. You’re not making sense. Have you been off your medication, or-

SIMON
Judith is your Judas, man. Okay, maybe I have. But think about it!

DONNELLY
I’m not sure I can think about this in any way that won’t insult her memory. I will pray that this in not your intention?

SIMON
It’s not, it’s-

DONNELLY
Do you have any idea the kind of symbolic weight that’s carried by his name? Next to Cain, Judas Iscariot is the progenitor of betrayal.

SIMON
See, I don’t buy that. That’s just what they’ve taught you, what they want you to think. But think about what really happened to poor Judas. The way it’s been told, they make him out to look like this super evil bad guy. He’s like, the Darth Vader to Jesus’s Obi-Wan.

DONNELLY
Really, Simon, we haven’t gotten past the Star Wars references yet?

SIMON
You’ve seen ‘Star Wars,’ and not ‘Back to the Future?’ Christ, what do they teach you in seminary?

DONNELLY
Not to use the Lord’s name in vain, for one. I’ve asked you several times to-

SIMON
It’s the same way Vader helped Obi-Wan become one with the Force. Heh. Obi-wan. One. With the Force. Never mind. Without Judas, Jesus never would have been caught. If he wasn’t caught, he wouldn’t have been crucified, and if he wasn’t crucified, he couldn’t be resurrected, and if he wasn’t resurrected, well, we’d be sitting in a Synagogue or a whatever the hell Buddhists call their churches.

DONNELLY
I believe they’re just called temples.

SIMON
That’s disappointing. I was hoping it’d be something cool like “Mahayana” or “Bangkok.”

DONNELLY
Continue, please, so we can be done with this.

SIMON
Right, so my point is, we should be a lot more thankful towards the guy. Towards Judas, because he knew-he knew, getting into this whole mess, that he would go down in history as the traitor. As the bad guy. And he was willing to let that happen, because he believed in Christ. He loved him enough to martyr himself as a catalyst for Jesus’s martyrdom, and everything else. That’s postmodern love, man.

DONNELLY
Well, Simon, that’s certainly an interesting way to look at it. Surprisingly insightful. What does this have to do with what we were talking about?

SIMON
Probably nothing. I just think Judas gets a bad rep.
(beat)
Oh, your wife! Right. Judith is like your Judas, ya know? It’s like Judith loved you so much, she let herself die to drive you into the priesthood. Just so we could be having this conversation now. Even when you first met, maybe she knew she was going to die, but she was willing to sacrifice herself, like Judas did, for the greater good. It’s kind of like Utilitarian Romanticism.

DONNELLY
It’s nothing like that at all, Simon.

SIMON
I thought I’d try.
(beat)
Before you went all Senior-Mon, how long had it been since your last Confession?

Simon sits up again on the edge of the sit, legs crossed, listening intently.

DONNELLY
Oh, probably six, seven years, to be honest. Why do you ask?

SIMON
I want to know if you were a good Catholic before you joined the priesthood, and if you were, I want to know why God took your wife from you and punished you for your good faith.
(silence)
Oh, God. I’m sorry-sorry-I’m so sorry, Doc, I-

DONNELLY
You need to leave.

SIMON
Doc, I’m sorry, I just-you know, I was trying to have a conversation, trying to level the playing field. I was trying to understand, I was-

DONNELLY
You need to leave now.

SIMON
What’s my penance? Give me-give me some kind of penance. I can do ‘Hail Mary’s’, yeah? How many do you want? Ten? Fifteen? Twenty...thousand? Just tell me what to do, I’ll start right now. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee...
(Simon continues to recite the ‘Hail Mary,’ repeating as necessary, under Donnelly’s lines)

DONNELLY
You haven’t even confessed anything. You’ve given me nothing to absolve.

SIMON
I told you, I’m a vegetarian! Jesus Christ, have you listened to anything I’ve told you?

DONNELLY
Do not use the Lord’s name in vain!

SIMON
Maybe I was just asking him a question!
(Simon continues the prayer from wherever he may have left off. After a few more lines-)
Father, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about what I said, I just wanted to know. I just had some questions and I-

DONNELLY
Everyone has questions, Simon. Everyone wants answers. That’s why we need faith, why we need something to believe in. All of these-these paradoxes inherent in our lives, they just prove to us that God has a plan, and that we need to have faith. That’s the only answer that we need.

Simon finishes reciting his current ‘Hail Mary’ and looks up at Donnelly.

SIMON
Doc, I’m sorry, I-

DONNELLY
(more calm now)
You need to leave.

Simon stands up and walks to the door. He opens up, but turns back to Donnelly before he leaves.

SIMON
I’ll...I’ll see you Sunday, Doc?

Donnelly does not respond. Simon exits the confessional booth, leaving Donnelly alone. After a moment of somber reflection, he looks at the Rosary beads in his hand and smiles a sad, reluctant, but still hopeful smile as he leans back in his chair and exhales.

An Encounter

EXT. DIRT ROAD LEADING TO A COVERED BRIDGE, DUBLIN - MORNING

For a moment, the bridge stands undisturbed, bathed in the brilliant serenity of sunshine in the morning. It is nature at its finest, with the white noise of hidden animals and a soft wind sneaking through the brush.

CIARAN, 8-10 years old, with dirty blonde hair, runs to the foot of the bridge. He is dressed in a Catholic school uniform, and carrying schoolbooks, bound together with a rope. When he stops, he leans over, hands on his knees, to catch his breathe. He looks around to see if he’s been followed, and smirks when he realizes that he’s safe and alone.

Ciaran congratulates himself inwardly for his clever get away, and looks around for somewhere to leave his books. He settles on a bush, and obscures the bound volumes from sight. Ciaran then untucks his shirt, and loosens his collar.

Ciaran waits for a moment with nervous glances in any direction, then begins pacing, clearly trying to spot something. He checks his watch at some point as well.

After having looked in all directions, Ciaran takes a seat at the foot of the bridge. He checks his watch again, and looks around, nervous and bored. To occupy the time, he picks at his shoes and throws rocks.

When Ciaran seems to have relinquished all hope and stands up to leave, MAHONEY walks on casually. He is the same age as Ciaran, but taller and lankier, with dark hair and blue eyes. He is also dressed in his school uniform, but wears a cap with a silver cricket pin. He waves to Ciaran.

CIARAN
There ya are! I been waitin’ forever for ya!

MAHONEY
Forever? It’s only three after, Ciaran. That’s the shortest I ever heard of forever bein’.

Mahoney looks around.

MAHONEY (CONT’D)
Where’s Leo?

CIARAN
Don’t know. He hasn’t shown up yet.

MAHONEY
Should we wait for him then?

CIARAN
Yeah.

Ciaran and Mahoney both sit down at the foot of the bridge. Mahoney pulls a sling shot out of his back pocket before sitting fully.

CIARAN (CONT’D)
You brought your catapult?

MAHONEY
Aye. I tightened up the slinger last night. Should be shootin’ a lot harder now. And with better aim.

Mahoney picks a rock up off the ground and loads it into his slingshot. He turns towards Ciaran, with his arm cocked, ready to shoot.

CIARAN
Hey! Knock it off!

MAHONEY
Relax. Move your head, it’s gonna drop across the water.

Ciaran moves his head away, and Mahoney shoots a rock out of the slingshot. It plops in the water.

MAHONEY (CONT’D)
Could still use a little work.

CIARAN
Why’d you bring that thing, anyway?

MAHONEY
This? I don’t know. Figured I could blast a bird or two, maybe even once we’re at the Pigeon House. Besides, we need some protection if the Bunsen Burner comes at us for skippin’ out on classes.

CIARAN
You realize we’ll be whipped if Father Bunsen ever catches us.

MAHONEY
That’s why I brought the catapult.
(beat)
Still no sign of Leo, eh?

CIARAN
Nope. Fatty’s either eatin’ up his breakfast still, or else he chickened out. I’ll even bet his sixpence that he did.

MAHONEY
What are we gonna do then?

CIARAN
Let’s go.
Ciaran walks onto the bridge.

MAHONEY
You’re gonna keep his money?

CIARAN
Well it looks like I just won the bet! It’s forfeit now. We’ll buy ourselves a chocolate.

Ciaran turns and continues across the bridge. Mahoney follows.

FADE TO BLACK.

WHITE TEXT ON BLACK SCREEN-“AN ENCOUNTER”

FADE IN:

EXT. DUBLIN STREETS - MORNING
Ciaran and Murphy exit from the covered bridge and turn down the first street they find. A sign reading “Vitriol Works” hangs in front of one of the buildings; everything else looks to be storage or unmarked factories. The sound of children playing is heard in the distance. Ciaran looks around in amazement at everything he sees. Mahoney walks along casually.

MAHONEY
Ya hear that up ahead? Maybe we should play the Indians.

CIARAN
I’m not sure, I-

MAHONEY
Leo would’ve done it. Besides, I’ve got the catapult.

Mahoney beats his palm against his mouth, making stereotypical “Indian” noises. He darts around the corner with his slingshot in his hand.

Mahoney turns the corner, and comes out on Wharf Road; this road has more store fronts than the last, and seems to be more of a Main Street. The streets are mostly vacant, but for several GIRLS playing a game on the sidewalk. They wear ragged dresses, and play with dirty dolls while shop owners open up their shops.

Mahoney runs at the girls, brandishing his slingshot.

MAHONEY (CONT’D)
Come on, ya filthy white varmints! Ya never seen an Indian brave before?

After chasing the girls for a bit, Mahoney loses them behind an empty fruit and vegetable stand. The girls duck under and behind the stand, and Mahoney is unable to stop his momentum until he passes them.

CIARAN
I don’t think you’re an Indian, Mahoney.

More screams are heard from Mahoney and the girls as Ciaran looks on.

CIARAN (CONT’D)
Ya haven’t got the red skin.

One of the girls defends herself, backed up towards a store front, with a few wooden fruit stands between her and Mahoney. They both stutter step, trying to fake the other one out to lead him or her in the opposite direction. Mahoney does his Indian battle cry again.

CIARAN (CONT’D)
Mahoney!

As Ciaran calls Mahoney’s name, a rock comes from behind and hits Mahoney in the head. He turns around to face his attacker, and the girl escapes.

Two BOYS of about 6 or 7 years of age stand across the street, throwing rocks. Their clothes are like rags, and they wear caps. Still, there is a certain air of confidence and chivalry about them.

BOY 1
Pick on some one your own size, ya Swaddler scum!

BOY 2
Ya jerks! Ya Protestants!

MAHONEY
Knock it off, would ya? I wasn’t actually gonna hurt ‘em. Quit throwin’ rocks!

The boys do not listen to Mahoney. He tries to avoid the rocks, but can only do so much.

MAHONEY (CONT’D)
I’m twice your size, ya brats! I could beat ya both up, at the same time!

BOY 2
Get out of the country! Da says that ya don’t belong here anyway!

BOY 1
We’re doin’ this for Ireland, ya swaddler. And for the girls!

MAHONEY
Ciaran, let’s get out of here.

Ciaran and Mahoney run away around a corner.

CIARAN
Ya could have used your catapult!

MAHONEY
I didn’t want to hurt ‘em!

CIARAN
Why’d ya bring it, then?

MAHONEY
I told you! For the Pigeon House. Or for Father Bunsen. But only if I hafta!

The boys keep moving for a bit. Ciaran notices Mahoney wiping tears out of his face.

CIARAN
What’s the matter?

MAHONEY
Grand da was a cricket player. That’s where I got the pin, ya see? Right there on my cap. But it don’t mean I’m a Protestant.

CIARAN
Hey-you want to run a siege? Maybe get ‘em back a bit. Like the Wild West!

MAHONEY
Ah, but we can’t. Ya need three people for a siege. Leo only pulls it off because he has his big brother’s help, that’s why it’s only two of ‘em. We could never do it on our own. Besides, I’d feel bad pickin’ on a kid that’s half my size.

Ciaran chuckles softly.

CIARAN
Alright. Let’s keep goin’.

EXT. STREETS OF DUBLIN - DAY

Ciaran and Mahoney walk with fascination through the streets. The entire area is unfamiliar but exciting to them. WE SEE:
--Various store fronts opening, bustling with commerce.
--A homeless man, shaking a cup and asking for change. Mahoney and Ciaran quickly move away, frightened.
--Ciaran reaches into his pocket and looks regretfully at the money that he is hoarding, specifically the sixpence that Leo had given him that is now considered extra. Ciaran separates the money into three piles of sixpence in his hand and looks back at the homeless man.
--Mahoney, meanwhile, spies a cat, and begins to chase it down an alley with his slingshot.
--After a moment of hesitation, Ciaran follows Mahoney down the alley.
--Mahoney loses the cat near the docks, and the boys continue their journey.
--As they walk past the docks, fisherman and cranes load and unload boats full of fish and supplies.
--Mahoney picks a stick up and drags it across a fence, clicking obnoxiously.
--The boys come upon a store front.

EXT. GENERAL STORE FRONT - DAY
Mahoney and Ciaran stop in front of a general store.

CIARAN
Mahoney, how ya holdin’ up?

MAHONEY
I’m alright. I heard my belly groan a bit, but I can keep on movin’ if ya’d like.

CIARAN
I’ve a bit of a hunger on me. What say we stop and get some food while we’re here?

MAHONEY
Sounds grand.

INT. GENERAL STORE - DAY
Ciaran and Mahoney cruise the aisles of the store, looking for things to eat. They look through several aisles before quickly settling on a chocolate bars and biscuits.

MAHONEY
Do we have enough?

CIARAN
Yeah. And what with Leo’s extra pence, we can stand to get a little more!

Ciaran adds two more biscuits to their pull.

MAHONEY
But I wanted more chocolate.

CIARAN
Sorry, but we haven’t got that much extra money.

MAHONEY
But you grabbed two more biscuits! I don’t want a biscuit, I want a chocolate.

Reluctantly, Ciaran puts a biscuit back.

CIARAN
Fine, take your chocolate, but let’s get movin’. We have to home by 4:00, or else our Mums will know we’re skippin’ class.

The boys leave the aisle and walk over to the cashier to pay. While Ciaran hands his money over the counter, Mahoney is distracted by the magazine rack nearby.

MAHONEY
Ciaran, do ya see this? They’ve got those books here, the one’s that Leo always talks about! The Halfpenny Marvel, and the Union Jack!

Ciaran does not respond, as he is in the midst of a transaction.

MAHONEY (CONT’D)
Ciaran, did ya hear me, Ciaran? They’ve got the Wild West ones!

Ciaran takes his change and the food from the cashier and joins Mahoney at the magazine rack.

CIARAN
I heard ya, Mahoney. C’mon.

MAHONEY
Well, we should get some, don’t ya think? Bring it back for Leo, you know, so he don’t forfeit his sixpence entirely.

CIARAN
But I already spent the money, to get your stupid chocolate. Besides...

Ciaran notices copies of Black Mask, Boys of New York, New York Weekly, the Fireside Companion and Ten Cent Irish Novels. He goes over to the rack, picks up a copy of Black Mask, and starts to skim through it.

CIARAN (CONT’D)
...these are where the real stories are.

MAHONEY
The Black Mask? Never heard of ‘em.

CIARAN
Yeah, ya wouldn’t have. There aren’t Indians in these ones.

MAHONEY
Then what do all the cowboys do?

CIARAN
There ain’t cowboys, either. Now come on, let’s find a place to eat.

Ciaran leads the way out of the store, with Mahoney following, confused by the exchange.

EXT. DUBLIN DOCKS - DAY
After exiting the store, Ciaran and Mahoney walk down to the docks. They find a quiet pier, and sit down to eat their biscuits and chocolate. They have barely begun to eat their food when the rest of the laborers on the docks take their lunch breaks as well and invade in the pier on which they sit. Ciaran and Mahoney are clearly nervous and uncertain about this. A few sailors sit down next to them, puzzled by the presence of the children in day time.

SAILOR 1
Whatcha got there?

MAHONEY
Chocolate and biscuits.

SAILOR 2
Chocolate and biscuits? That’s not a fittin’ breakfast for a boy like ya. Did yer mother pack it?

CIARAN
She did.

SAILOR 1
She did, did she? And then she sent ya out to the docks to eat it, huh?

CIARAN
Yes, sir.

The Sailors laugh together. Ciaran and Mahoney shift with discomfort and silently continue eating their food.

SAILOR 1
It’s alright, boys. We won’t tell yer mothers that yer skippin’ school.

The Sailors laugh again, and then continue with their regularly lunch time conversation (ad lib).

A glance is exchanged between Ciaran and Mahoney as they finish up their lunches. Following a large bite of his biscuit, Mahoney suddenly looks up, eyes wide, and chews his food faster in an attempt to get it down.

CIARAN
What is it?

Mahoney mumbles an unintelligible response with his mouth shut, still chewing. Ciaran laughs. Beat. Mahoney swallows his food hard, and finally answers.

MAHONEY
It’s that cat, from before!

The cat that Mahoney had chased earlier can be seen in the grass on the side of the road just off the pier.

CIARAN
How do you know it’s the same one?

Mahoney throws the rest of his biscuit down on the pier, and jumps up to chase after the cat.

CIARAN (CONT’D)
Mahoney!

Ciaran scrambles to jump up and chase after Mahoney; he pauses for a moment to take one last bite of his biscuit, however, and then runs after his friend.

A SERIES OF SHOTS:
--Ciaran running after Mahoney down the pier.
--The cat perking up and noticing the approaching boys.
--Mahoney leaping towards the cat, onto the grass from the pier.
--The cat running away, with Mahoney’s feet landing where the cat stood a moment ago.
--Various shots of Ciaran chasing Mahoney chasing the Cat through the streets of Dublin, eventually running into the woods.

EXT. LARGE OPEN PASTURE - DAY
Mahoney runs into a large open field and stops in his tracks, trying to locate the cat. Ciaran turns the corner and runs into Mahoney, almost knocking him over into the grass. The two boys lie on the ground laughing together for a moment before standing up, out of breathe.

CIARAN
Did ya see where it went?

MAHONEY
Nope. Did you?

CIARAN
I was six meters behind ya!

MAHONEY
Ah well.

Ciaran and Mahoney walk out into the middle of the field.

MAHONEY (CONT’D)
It’s a real nice day.

CIARAN
Sure is.
(beat)
You know what time it is?

MAHONEY
How should I know? You’re the one in charge here.

CIARAN
I guess so.

Ciaran sits down in the grass and leans back, looking up at the sky.

MAHONEY
What are ya doin’?

CIARAN
Takin’ a rest. It’s been a long day, and I just chased a cat for half a kilometer.

A soft whistling can be heard in the distance, gradually getting louder. The boys pay little attention to it at first.

MAHONEY
Aye, that’s a good idea. But what about the Pigeon House?

CIARAN
I’ll be honest with ya-I don’t really care about the Pigeon House right now. We got to be home for four o’clock anyway, so let’s just rest a while here, yeah?

Mahoney sits down in the grass next to Ciaran. Mahoney pulls a blade of grass and chews on it.

The whistling grows louder, as the boys take in a moment of serenity.

MAHONEY
Do ya hear that?

Ciaran looks behind him, towards the source of the sound. Mahoney turns his head a moment later.

Walking towards them, they see A MAN in his mid-40s with an Ashen-grey moustache, dressed in a shabby greenish-black suit and a tall hat. He walks with one hand on his hip; in his other hand, he holds a stick with which he lightly taps the grass as he walks.

Man walks up to Ciaran and Mahoney and stops for a second, looking down at them, before continuing on his way.

Ciaran and Mahoney exchange concerned looks.

MAHONEY (CONT’D)
Do ya think that Leo’s gonna snitch us or-

The Man turns around and walks back towards Ciaran and Mahoney; they silently anticipate his approach.

MAN
‘Ello, boys.

The Man dips his hat in greeting to the boys and sits down beside Ciaran. Ciaran and Mahoney mumble quiet, unintelligible responses.

MAN (CONT’D)
Gorgeous day, ain’t it? Haven’t seen a day this nice in, oh, quite a while. It’s like the weather in every childhood memory. But I bet you boys haven’t much of those yet, have ya? ‘Course not! You’re still in yer childhood!

Ciaran and Mahoney shift uncomfortably.

MAN (CONT’D)
Don’t suppose you boys have names?

CIARAN
Sean.

MAHONEY
Leo.

Ciaran nudges Mahoney.

MAN
Hello Sean. Hello Leo. What are you boys doin’ out here? Shouldn’t ya be in school right about now?

CIARAN
We’re just enjoying the day.

MAHONEY
It’s a holiday.

MAN
A holiday? I didn’t know today was a special one. That’s too bad, really. When I was your age, I loved goin’ to school. Every schoolboy’s fondest memories are forged while he’s in school. Ah, what I would give to be a boy again. Pretty days like this, runnin’ ‘round in uniform shorts. It just makes a life a simpler thing, ya know? How old are you boys, anyhow?

Ciaran and Mahoney exchange nervous glances, realizing that they have been caught in a lie. The Man just looks ahead and keeps talking, running his fingers through the grass and massaging the stick in his hand.

MAN (CONT’D)
Well, when I was about your age, maybe a little older, I loved books. I loved to read-ya don’t get the chance to read as much when you’re my age. Do ya boys like books?

CIARAN
Yeah, they’re alright.

MAN
Well I bet your a bookworm just like me. What kind of books do ya like?

MAHONEY
The Halfpenny Marvel and The Union Jack!

CIARAN
He means to say the Wild West. I like the detectives more, and their mysteries.

MAN
Ah. So he goes more in for games, I see. Have ya ever read a poem, my boy?

CIARAN
Aye, a few.

MAN
I love the poems. Have ya read Thomas Moore, perhaps or Sir Walter Scott?

CIARAN
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Mahoney looks at Ciaran with confusion. Ciaran shrugs.

MAN
I’ve all the works of Sir Walter Scott back at home. And Lord Lytton! He’s the favorite. I never tire of readin’ ‘em.
(laugh)
Of course, there are some of Lytton’s works which boys like you should never read. At least, they’d never let ya.

The Man smiles creepily, revealing broken, yellowed teeth.

MAN (CONT’D)
So, tell me. Do ya boys have sweethearts?

MAHONEY
Oh, yeah. I’ve got three totties back at school. They’re waitin’ for me.

MAN
And what about you, young man?

CIARAN
I got none.

MAN
But you’re a handsome boy, I’m sure you’ve got at least one.

MAHONEY
Well, how many have you got, mister?

The Man smiles again.

MAN
When I was your age, I had plenty of sweethearts. Every boy has a little sweetheart.
(beat)
Those little girls, they have such-such soft hair, and the glowin’ lit’le eyes. Have ya touched a girl’s skin? It’s like silk, it is. Nothin’ that I like so much as lookin’ at a pretty little girl, with her nice hands, or her long, flowin’ hair, maybe tied back in a black velvet band.

At this point, the boys mostly stop listening to him, but they let him ramble on for a bit.

MAN (CONT’D)
Gentle skin, reflectin’ off the sun, and the shimmerin’ hair. Ya ever get ‘em close-get ‘em real close, and smell a pretty girl like that? She smells as if a warm spring day had blossomed from her neck. A day like this will make you long for the warm touch of skin.

Ciaran and Mahoney are visibly creeped out by this.

MAN (CONT’D)
Of course, a girl is not as good as she would let ya to believe.

There is a short pause, as the Man’s last words linger, and echo off the slope of a hill in the pasture.

MAN (CONT’D)
You’ll excuse me for a minute, won’t ya? I’ve a thing to do.

CIARAN
Yeah, sure.

The Man gets up and walks away towards the end of the field, and disappears from sight amongst the foliage. An awkward moment of silence passes between Ciaran and Mahoney.

When Ciaran finally begins to break the silence, Mahoney’s eyes widen.

CIARAN (CONT’D)
Well, he’s a queer ol’ josser, ain’t he?

MAHONEY
Look! Do ya see what he’s doin’? Look!

Ciaran and Mahoney shift their eyes in the direction that the man had walked away in. They shift their focus away, and sit again in silence until the Man returns.

Just as the Man is about to sit down again, Mahoney catches the glimpse of the cat that he had been chasing earlier.

MAHONEY (CONT’D)
There he is!

Mahoney jumps up and chases after the cat as the Man sits down beside Ciaran.

MAN
Well. Boys will be boys, eh?

Ciaran and the Man watch Mahoney chase the cat for a bit.

Over the course of the following dialouge, Ciaran grows progressively more uncomfortable, and subtly tries to get Mahoney’s attention; Mahoney, meanwhile, keeps chasing the cat, sometimes throwing rocks or using his slingshot.

MAN (CONT’D)
He’s a rough boy. Leo, was it? Tell me-is he whipped a lot? At school, I mean.

CIARAN
(quietly)
We’re not-we’re not from the National School.

MAN
Well, if I’ve come to know a thing in my life, it’s that every boy deserves a whippin’. They ought to be whipped, and whipped well at that. Boys like him, they’re rough, unruly, and a slap on the hand or a box on the ear is no good. Not compared to a nice, hard whippin’. That’s what he wants, a whippin’, warm and sound.

Ciaran glances up at the Man’s face for a moment, but the man does not notice or stop; he is too engaged in his monologue.

MAN (CONT’D)
If I ever met a boy who didn’t know a girl was bad for him, I would whip there myself. I would hit him hard enough to teach him not to talk to any girls. And a boy who has a sweetheart and told me any lies about it, I would whip him like nothin’ in the world. Oh, there’s nothin’ I would love so well as that. To bend him over a desk, and take a ruler, or a hand and hit him right on the behind. It wouldn’t be right unless I heard the slap, or seen the cheeks redden and swell with the mark of my hand. Yes, a boy’s got to be punished when he’s takin’ good to a girl. If he’s rough, then he’s to be roughened up. Ya understand, yes? Dear God, it would be better than a thing in the world, if I could teach the boys in such a way, make every one better, and wiser, and strong, by a whip.

The Man, wrapped up in the ecstasy of his monologue, takes a pause, and Ciaran abruptly stands up. He looks around for a moment for a suitable exit before bending back down and pretending to tie his shoe.

CIARAN
It’s been good to meet ya, sir, but I’ve got to get goin’. Got to be home for supper, or my mum’ll be all in a rage. Cheers!

Ciaran turns to leave the pasture, walking quickly. The Man moves his hand around in the grass, near Ciaran’s ankles, grabbing clumps grass and earth and prompting Ciaran to walk faster.

As Ciaran reaches the top of the hill of the pasture where they first entered, he turns around, and blindly calls across the field without looking back to see the Man.

CIARAN (CONT’D)
Leo! LEO!

Mahoney hears him after the second time, and gives up his pursuit of the cat to meet Ciaran at the top of the hell. Mahoney runs with a feigned air of bravery, as if he were bringing aid to Mahoney

Ciaran peers back over his shoulder with a look of disdain to make sure that Mahoney is coming.

CIARAN (CONT’D)
Go n-ithe cata thu agus go n-ithe an diabhaill an cata.

FINAL FADE OUT

Based on "An Encounter" by James Joyce, from the Dubliners series.

Nov.-Dec. '07